In a new episode of the McKNIGHT TONIGHT podcast, the hilarious JULIA MORRIS recounts her most embarrassing moment… and you will literally laugh out loud!
You’d be hard pressed to find anyone in the entertainment industry who has a bad word to say about Julia Morris. A comedian, actress and presenter; she is a triple threat who’s become a go-to host for Network ten on a string of shows including I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here! which returns on January 5.
Never one to shy away from work Julia is embarking on another tour in 2020 and tickets are on sale now at livenation.com.au or juliamorris.com
In this episode Julia talks about:
– What went terribly wrong that saw the entire crew of a TV show she was working on see her poo
– Running out of money when she risked it all to move to the UK
– How her husband kept her grounded with the best piece of advice
– What went wrong with Sunday Night Takeaway
– Why flirting with Dr Chris Brown doesn’t work any more
– Why she insists on censoring some footage caught on camera for I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here
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A transcript of the podcast is below:
Robert: Julia, welcome to McKnight Tonight.
Julia: How are you, hon?
Robert: I’m very well, all the better for hearing from you. Hey, television, it’s a roller coaster ride. You have had an extraordinary career. Do you feel that you are now at the top of your game?
Julia: Well, I’m concerned about the top of the game because isn’t the next bit the slide?
Robert: Very good point. Very good point.
Julia: Every year I’m still employed, it’s not lost on me, I must say. I think I remember many years ago, Andrew Daddo saying to me, I’m talking in the 90s and he had this lovely take on, “Your first two years, you think you’re the biggest star to ever hit the televisual and then for the next two years you’re like, I’m kind of a senior in the industry and then the next two years you’re like, Oh God, I hope I don’t lose my job. I’ve got an awfully big mouth all of a sudden.” And then he said, “The next two years you’re probably out of work. And then the two years after that, you’re so grateful to have a job, you just keep your head low and try your best.”
Robert: I think there’s so much truth to that. Now I need you to correct me if I’m wrong here. I have a very vague recollection of you appearing in Kathy Griffin’s My Life on the D-List where-
Julia: I did.
Robert: You did, so this is the bizarre thing though. She was in England trying to get across all things English and suddenly I saw an Australian teaching her about being English. How the hell did you get that gig?
Julia: Isn’t that dreamy? I actually had been working with the production company that were making that show. I got married to Dan in the New Year’s Eve of 2005 and went straight away after getting married to New York to go and work with the production company that make Kathy’s show. And so when they were in the UK they wanted the perspective of what’s it like to be a foreigner in the UK as a stand up and what to look out for and what to avoid.
Robert: Ah, okay. That works-
Julia: So that was sort of the vibe and plus, Kathy Griffin, oh my God, she’s a goddess.
Robert: Yeah, absolutely. That must’ve been an amazing shoot because you really did take it-
Julia: It was incredible.
Robert: You really did take a chance going to the UK for a while, didn’t you? You’d had some success in Australia with Full Frontal and then you just decided to go over and try your luck.
Julia: It’s exactly what happened. I think that I might’ve been in that second part of Andrew’s roll out where I just thought, “You know what? I’ll go to the UK and I will have my own show in like four minutes.”
Robert: Of course.
Julia: And it didn’t occur to me that I would literally have to start again. Nobody cared that I was on the television here. We didn’t have the good graces of the internet, it’s much more easy to be a global performer these days, because people can see from right across the globe. But in those days I’d get out to venues and people would say, “Well, I’ve never heard of you. So you’ve got to do at least four gigs here for free and kill, and then we’ll book you.” And, I mean, that took years.
Robert: That’s tough. That’s tough when you’re actually having to do gigs for free.
Julia: And then, you know what Rob, I’d done this great gig, “Farewell everyone. I’m leaving for the UK. I don’t know when I’ll be back.” And then about two months in I’m like, “Oh no, I’ve made a terrible mistake.” So while it seems brave and amazing staying for eight years, it was because I was too embarrassed to come home.
Robert: It’s interesting though, isn’t it? Australians go overseas and nobody cares, but if you’ve found success overseas and come back to Australia, you are a God.
Julia: Oh apparently I’m the Lord High Executioner all of a sudden. So you’re like, “No hang on. Am I the same performer? Am I exactly the same person?” But I don’t know whether that’s an admiration of the bravery of leaving everything behind because it wasn’t long into living in London that I just ran out of all the money I thought I’d saved and all of a sudden, barely making my rent. And so, I would have to scab on what food I was eating or… But it was also one of the most exciting times of my life.
Robert: Do you think that is what keeps you grounded? Because you’re a pretty grounded person on and off the camera and that does set you apart from a lot of other performers.
Julia: I think that does, I think you’re right, I think it did. I think being broke, coming back to ground zero, not having the continued lifts each year of celebrity life, if that’s a thing, I don’t even know that we had that in this country. I’m always giggling about Australian celebrities, I’m like, “I’ve got hardly anyone right now. We’re all gypsy renters, we’re not on American seed.”
Robert: So true.
Julia: I think it does definitely goes a long way to keeping you grounded and I think it’s the people I surround myself with as well. My husband will be quick to say, “Loving yourself much at the moment?”
Robert: Oh, there’s nothing like a spouse to bring you down when you’re feeling good about yourself. When you’re getting a bit too big headed, there’s nothing like a spouse who wants you to take out the bins or just something and just bring you down to earth with a thud.
Julia: Well, I remember when I got lucky enough to get Australia’s Got Talent when I was doing House Husbands on Nine and Dan sat me down, he said, “I just want to have a bit of a chat about where we are up to with our relationship and where you are up to in your work life. You’re about to cross over. This is that next big leap, doing two shows.” And he said, “What will happen is more and more that you will get the feeling that your ideas are the most amazing ideas that anyone’s ever heard their whole life. And you’re not going to be hearing many nos but you’ll be hearing them at home and that chasm between the two lives, this is where the truth is and everyone else is just trying to get you on the stage or on the television or…” I don’t mean that everybody is insincere at all, but there is a certain reverence that goes with having a well known face.
Robert: Absolutely.
Julia: And he was saying, “Just make sure you remember when I say, would you mind unpacking that dishwasher? And you haven’t had to lift a finger in weeks in Africa, that it’s not because I’m trying to bring you down a peg or two, it’s just that this is life. The other thing is completely unrealistic and won’t last.”
Robert: What a great conversation to have. That’s really smart from him.
Julia: Yeah, it was really smart. And I tell you what, as my friend [Paul Hansen 00:07:04] would say, “It has ‘resonatated’ with me many times.”
Robert: Well, that’s the thing because we all get this feeling that celebrity life is glamorous, but there’s a lot of hard work that goes into it at times. But Stephen Tate, the executive producer of I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here, he told me that you mentioned him in your previous standup act, one of the tours you were doing about an incident that happened in the jungle with your trailer?
Julia: Amazing. Day one, two years ago, brand new trailers. I mean we couldn’t have felt more important. I’m like, “How beautiful is that?” And on the day I… It was like a little cabin made out of a shipping container, it’s that sort of vibe. Beautiful. I couldn’t believe my luck. I’m like, “Who are we?” Anyway, a chap came to the door, he said, “Listen, the toilet is not connected yet to the system, so just please don’t use it. Just go down to the bottom one.” I’m like, “Yeah, of course. I will.” So that was that day. He said it will be connected by tomorrow morning, my guarantee, and if it flushes, it’s totally working. So, unreal. Next morning I get in, I just did a little test flush, I’m like, “Oh good. It’s working. Oh my God, this is great.” Because I didn’t have to walk such a long way, which I’m not trying to sound precious, but what happens is I can’t help but talk to every single person I pass. So going to the bathroom can be a three hour ordeal.
And so just having a bathroom in my room and staying quiet and still is pretty dreamy. So, it’s in the morning. We’re into work pretty early and I thought, I’ll just quickly duck to the bathroom. I know it’s joined up because it flushed and that was that. And I came out of my little trailer, I like to go and have a little visit at different trailers, go and visit my beloved Dr Whatevs, I come out of the trailer and there’s a few people kind of standing around looking really strangely in the middle of the road. And like, “What’s their problem? What’s everyone looking at that’s so weird?” And I turn around and there’s a little collection of my poo poo in the middle of the road.
So I’m like, “Oh my God.” I don’t even know what to do or how to hide it or do I go and get, I was like, “That needs to be removed.” So the next minute I look down the road and I see my beloved Stephen Tate walking up and street. I’m like, “It’s the executive producer from Channel 10, what am I going to do?” So I said to him, “Good morning Stephen,” and oh my gosh, he is just one of the last great gentlemen.
Robert: He is.
Julia: And he said, “Good morning Julia, how are you?” I said, “Yeah, I’m pretty good. I’m pretty good.” And he said, “I’ve seen it.” And I said, “Oh my God, Stephen, what are you talking about?” He goes, “Not only have I seen it, I saw it roll out.” Roll out.
Robert: He didn’t tell me that.
Julia: And then as I looked down, so obviously from the S-bend of the toilet itself, it was just this open pipe out onto the street. So apparently now, I’m such a huge star, I will just take a dump in the street whenever I feel like it and you will go and find someone to pick that up for me. I had to pick it up, I was dying. They’re like, “You are in full wardrobe, don’t you dare touch that poo.” I’m like, “I can’t leave it there. I’m already…” I mean, that’s why I find it hard to even say the word poo, much less discuss just ripping one out in the middle of the street.
Robert: That’s-
Julia: Outrageous to the extreme. So I always remember him being a tremendous gentleman about that, because it’s not every day… He said he apparently went back down to the office and he said to one of the producers who said, “Listen, there’s a celebrity turd up there on the road that needs to be sorted.”
Robert: And what I love is you put that in your standup tour.
Julia: Oh I mean she had to, because also my brand of stand up is all about making fun of myself. I like that it’s not being mean to others and I’m not being unkind to myself, but I do like to share stories of where I got it horribly wrong.
Robert: Well, so you’re always looking for material because you’re doing another tour next year. So how hard is it to… I assume you’re the kind of person who goes for that new hour of material each time?
Julia: Yeah, absolutely. And in actual fact it’s an hour and a half. So I tour every two years just to keep that muscle fresh, if that’s right expression. And I think with stand up, it’s an easy gift to lose when you are not jumping up on the stage all the time. And I don’t really, because I’m also raising a family, there’s not time for me to duck out to comedy clubs at night, that doesn’t exist, I work too hard. So going into the theaters I find is a much more warm reception. People who come along to the shows really want to see my work. So there’s always such lovely, funny, good laughter in the room and there’s not no better way to perform. So I always get back out on the road and I’ll spend between… In fact, I’ve already been doing it this year and I had the luxury because the tour is not until September, 2020, I’ve got a bit of time to really gather a lot of marks.
Robert: So the question I’ve got on that is when you’re in the UK and you’re having to do four shows for free, you’re talking to a brand new audience, presumably the people that are coming to these shows know you and are coming for Julia Morris. Does that change the material or are you trying to prove yourself each time?
Julia: You got to prove yourself each time. I think what I have to do is reset into, what is funny about my material? Because when you walk onto a stage and people already know you, there’s already many levels of history that they have with you. Now that can go either way, sometimes it’s the level of history where my drag queen voice has been annoying them for the last 30 years and they hate me, less and less lately, which is great. But I obviously stopped caring. And the people who love you, love you seriously.
So losing all of that and walking onto a stage in the UK where each performer is disposable, you have your first few minutes and if you’re not nailing it in the first few minutes, just off. Because the best of the world descend on the London comedy scene. So if you’re good enough then, unreal, and if you’re not, get off the stage and let us laugh with someone who is coming. And I found a window in for me was to make fun of things that I turned into loving, like I spoke about how much I loved the black stuff that collects in your nose when you’re on the tube. You don’t get that everywhere. And it does make my nose look a lot thinner. So I’m gently winding things up, without being mean about them to try and turn the joke around. I don’t know. It definitely reset probably my entire career as it turns out.
Robert: Well, look, you are doing Perth, Adelaide, Nary Warren, the Gold Coast, so I’ll be going to the show on the Gold Coast in September 24, Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne, Newcastle, Canberra, the tickets on sale now. You can go to juliamorris.com or livenation.com.au. So that’s going to be a cracker.
Julia: It’s going to be an all time beauty.
Robert: Yes. Now, one of the craziest things I think that has happened in your career is finding this chemistry with Dr Chris Brown. You are about to go into another season of, I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here. I was working at 10 when they, at the up fronts they announced you two were going to be a pairing and I remember thinking, “This is either the worst decision in history or the best decision,” and I couldn’t work it out to be honest. Obviously-
Julia: Absolutely. Well we presented at the Logies a couple of months before that and that was… And then after presenting at the Logies, we were asked to do the nominees, I think it was the following year. I’m trying to get it right in my head. And so Channel 10 had seen that early in the piece, and they were like, “This is a great combination. It doesn’t make sense and it’s a really strong chemistry and I think there’s something in this.” And they definitely approached us a number of times to try and make that happen in some format. And when the jungle came up, I was determined to do that job, I’m not even sure that I was on the list of choices but I really wanted to do it because I was already a big fan of the show from the UK.
Robert: Oh Ant and Dec and that show over there is just a power house.
Julia: They are complete [inaudible 00:16:23] and I think we’ve been searching for two boys for a long, long while to fill this format. And I think that the ballast of proper information and laughter from Chris, and then you sort of get the opposite from me, the laughs you were expecting, but you’re not expecting any sort of sensible comment. So we were both surprising in the opposite ways and somehow that just comes together and the mutual admiration is definitely what kicks it into touch.
Robert: And do you think he’s grown as a comedic performer during the time he’s been on I’m a Celebrity with you? And I’m not trying to piss in your pocket here, but being a comedian, there’s obviously things you do naturally that he’s going to be looking at and there’s probably some presenting things he does that you look at. Are you both growing with each other?
Julia: I think that we really enjoy each other’s style. I like that I can bring out his informal side and I’ll bet he loves bringing out my more formal side. But we also have big long rehearsals, so we shape those jokes together. We know to leave the fresh air if it needs a little bit of awkward silence at the end, all that sort of stuff. So, he has become quite the comic over all those years.
Robert: Is there much ad-libbing when you’re actually doing it live or has it been so rehearsed down to the last moment?
Julia: It’s always been very strongly rehearsed, but that also… Because the crew are our audience, you would know this as well from your countless years in telly, is that if you can make the crew laugh, you will definitely be making the audience laugh at home. And so anything that needs a real fresh injection, if we’ve done a joke to death in their rehearsal, then we’ll often change it up on the day. But we also have Matt Lovkis and Michael Ward as our writers. So I mean it’s genuinely just not getting any better. They are the absolute top shelf. So not only, there are four brains making one person look funny. It’s unreal.
Robert: And do you know the… I’m A Celebrity starts January, 5. It’s going really early this year. So it’s part of 10’s 50 week strategy. Do you know who’s going into the jungle before you get into South Africa?
Julia: Well, we used to in years gone by, but because of the front loading of interviews that we do before we go, because once we arrive in Africa, the timing is so brutal. There is no time for any Q&A’s or going on the radio. It is from dawn until dusk. We start at 04:30 and we’re spat out the other end of the day at five o’clock. So it’s always pretty intense. And so yes, leading up to this time of the year, it’s so back to back, I’m sort of got myself into a comedy cul-de-sac, I can’t even deal what I’m talking about. But Chris and I decided because of all those clues, that we preferred the cocktail party that we have when we arrived when we touch down in Africa. Steve and ITV throw us a little drinks night and one by one we have a little guessing game with all those clues and then we find out when we’re there.
Robert: Oh fabulous.
Julia: And instead of like the old one where you’re like, “Who’s going? What? I’m going to have to look them up.” Instead of that moment, it’s a big cast at once when you’re like, “Oh my God, this is going to be amazing.” And it just keeps the spring in us finding out when we get there. And I really like that part of it.
Robert: How caught up do you get in the show and what’s happening with the narrative with the characters that are appearing and whether there’d be any fights or special moments where they’re telling a deep story? How caught up in all that do you get?
Julia: Well we have a proper viewing each morning of all of the packages that are going in the show from the previous 24 hours. And if there’s something that we don’t like the look of, as in, if I think, “Oh my God, that’s going to bury that person,” because we don’t want on the show just to end their careers either. We will have a word, say, “I prefer if that line didn’t go in or I prefer that didn’t happen.” And they’re always very kind and-
Robert: So that’s interesting. You’re really trying to look out for these celebrities to make sure that, because obviously they’re being recorded 24 hours a day and you’re really trying to make sure-
Julia: Absolutely.
Robert: … That they don’t get caught out saying the wrong thing?
Julia: Well, sometimes you can go into a circular conversation where you’re actually saying one thing, but it sounds like you’re saying another. So if you feel like you sort of get it, and I’m like, “I don’t even think that person feels that way,” but that’s-
Robert: Oh, we’ve all been there.
Julia: I can’t even think of an example either. And it’s not about saving them, you say what you want and you live by the sword and you die by the sword. Do you know what I mean? But also, if it’s something that I’m just like, my children are 11 and 13 and over the last six years they have been watching mommy on the telly. So if I’m like, “I don’t want an erectile dysfunction conversation while Dan then at home with my girls has to explain to the girls what that is or the word ‘blank’ or, do you know what I mean?
Robert: Yeah, I do.
Julia: There’s a number of things where I just think… and says me who has the mouth of a wharf worker back in the day.
Robert: No, I’m exactly the same. I swear like a trooper, but I don’t want my kids seeing that in a 19:30 viewing time when I’m watching, I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here. I want that to be family viewing.
Julia: Absolutely, and we sold it as a children’s show. And as I say, in series one, I didn’t know Chris very well so it’s easy to do mad flirting and just be silly and kind of, “Whatevs.” And then after just series one, I really made a purposeful direction change because I thought to continue flirting then became not very truthful because now I know him, I can’t flirt with him now. That’s embarrassing, that’s actually weird kind of work place. Whereas before he’d been through part of it. He was contributing to a lot of those jokes in series one. So as the time wore on, I think we got more and more used to each other and I really think that the chemistry has built and built and built to be muck around siblings and that nice vibe. People like him winding me up, people like me winding him up. It’s loads of fun and it’s good to feel like you’re a part of.
Robert: I was speaking to Dan Monaghan on the podcast last week. They had a programming at Channel 10 and we were talking about some of the issues the network had in the first quarter of 2019 and obviously Sunday Night Takeaway didn’t perform as well as the network expected, but he said that he was so proud of that show. He said, “I would rather have a show that I’m proud of fail, than have a show I don’t care about and I’m not invested in succeed.”
Julia: Absolutely.
Robert: And he felt very sad that that show didn’t work and didn’t connect with the audience because he said, still to this day, he’s immensely proud of it. How do you feel… Every time you do a new show, it’s a risk, so what goes through when a show isn’t connecting with the audience and you’re desperately trying to make it work?
Julia: Well we were tired from Africa already, we come back and almost get to lie down for a month. No, we didn’t come back and lie down for month. We came back and went straight into, I think I had something like 19 weeks of live production in a row.
Robert: Wow. That’s huge.
Julia: With the 14 hour days, majority six days a week. It was brutal and I just thought, “You know what? I think the ratings are buoyant, it was matter.” And every show that we made, the feeling was so unbelievably good Rob, that it felt like we were playing to millions. And so I’m sure that the show would have connected with the audience had the audience not been watching Matt.
Robert: Yeah. Well, was the timing all wrong? Was it too much having you come straight from the jungle? Not enough time to actually work through the show and if there were issues, if there were things not working, refined them. Would it have been better as a winter show, like around June?
Julia: Look, I don’t know because the full slate is not on my desk. So I tend to steer clear of saying, “It should’ve gone here. It should’ve gone there,” because everyone can say that-
Robert: Everyone’s a programmer.
Julia: Oh everyone’s a programmer, but actually putting it all together and making that system work… I absolutely adore everything that Beverly does. So I think going up against… In an ideal world, I’ll tell you what I’d like, I’d really like the networks to start working side by side to save live television. And go, “Do you know what? You have those months. We’ll have this time slot, that time slot. You take this one, that one,” and evenly divide it out and divide and conquer again, the mighty internet that is just going to steal it away before long. Live television will always be there, but I feel like unless they stop eating each other’s shows, like, “This will do it. We’ll just put this on against them.” It’s like, “What?”
Robert: It’s interesting you say that because I really want live variety television back on Australian TV and with every failure, the networks get more and more nervous about stepping into that arena. And so I actually desperately want it to work because I do think there’s an appetite there for it. I think it takes a combination of things like any other show, whether it’s a drama, whether it’s a reality show, it’s about time slot, it’s about connecting with the audience, it’s about the right format. And so I really, really want to see live TV back and having a red hot go. And your theory about the networks actually working together, you’re right, the streaming services are the enemies.
Julia: Absolutely, they’re your competition, mate. Not with a, this one’s decided to go a half an hour earlier to get the jumpstart on you. I think everybody’s kidding themselves. It is the big streaming giant that is going to… I mean I don’t want to be a nay sayer, I probably don’t know what I’m talking about, but I just think that I know they’ll never join together. I know they’ll never join forces and work side by side and-
Robert: Of course. And that’s an idealized world but-
Julia: [crosstalk 00:27:29] advertising dollars to share and everybody has to answer to the shareholders, I also get that. And I think as an audience member, I don’t care what you put up against another show because I’m just going to tape it and watch it later.
Robert: True.
Julia: So the temptation is, what am I going to watch live? Watch this, tape that. I mean tape, could I be using a more old word? You know what I mean? I’m going to put it on a microgroove LP actually Rob, can you get that happened?
Robert: You’ll be talking about one inch tape in a moment.
Julia: But the super unusual thing about takeaway was that there was not, or barely, we couldn’t honestly find one, there was barely a bad word about it. So those who were watching it, were loving it. And so normally, if you are going to have something go that low, you’d be like, “This is why this is wrong.” And all those articles that come up day after day after day over various publications as to why the show is wrong, none of that happened for us. And people who did tune in were kind of like, “Oh my God, that’s so sweet.” But we were in the grip of really nasty TV that was made very well. So to then tune into the virtue signalers, what do you do?
Robert: Well, the thing we have to realize too is that what works about reality TV now in this day and age, it’s not once a week television, it’s stripped programming. And why wouldn’t variety television be any different? We need to actually go back to the days where we had it every night. I think there’s a real case for 09:30, Monday to Thursday of live television that would build an audience. You can’t just put it on once a week and expect it to work. Reality TV once a week doesn’t work anymore. Every program goes multiple nights.
Julia: Yeah. My only thing with that is, and as you will well know, what a beast to feed.
Robert: Oh yes, I do know. But-
Julia: It’s such a beast to feed that… Yeah. I mean I have great admiration for The Project for that reason because I’m just like, “What a beast.” When I’m saying, “What a beast to feed,” so much content.
Robert: So much.
Julia: So much… And then to have some featured extra on Twitter saying, “I hate it.” You’re like, “We just put in 150 hours’ work and in one go, someone’s noticing that you said, “I hate it.” What? What are you talking about? So the other, what? 200 people that are working on the show and who are really experienced in the industry, don’t know what they’re doing? I don’t believe that, I think we are-
Robert: And nobody goes out to make a bad show.
Julia: I think the tail is wagging the dog a bit just quietly.
Robert: Yeah. Well we get caught up in the media bubble. Julia Morris, you are an absolute legend. I want to remind everyone, your tour is on in September. You can go to livenation.com.au to get tickets or juliamorris.com to keep across everything that you’re doing. And if that wasn’t enough, I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here starts January, 5 as Dan Monaghan said, in case you haven’t seen the promos that are absolutely everywhere at the moment.
Julia: Oh, next-level. A young person tried to shame me the other day Rob. On the carpet at the Actor’s, this young person said, “Huh? And you did that big commercial and as if you did any of the stunts,” something like that. I’m like, “Mate, go on my Instagram and have a look at the rehearsals of me doing the stunts.”. She said, “You did not.”
Robert: Of course you did.
Julia: “Yes, I did.” I said, “Not all the shots might have been used, but I did the stunts.” [crosstalk 00:31:09].
Robert: And that is you to a T. I mean, we know Dr Chris Brown had a stunt double obviously, but you, you’re doing your own stunts.
Julia: Oh mate. [Chesty Bond 00:31:18], we love him.
Robert: Julia, thank you so much for your time. Really appreciate you appearing on McKnight Tonight.
Julia: Great pleasure, Rob.
