Darren Hayes opens up to Zan Rowe about the five songs that helped him navigate childhood trauma, global fame, heartbreak, depression and recovery in a deeply personal episode of Take 5 with Zan Rowe on ABC tonight.
Zan Rowe sits down with Darren Hayes for Season 5, Episode 3 of Take 5 with Zan Rowe, using five songs from the singer’s life to revisit the experiences that shaped him.
The conversation traces Hayes’ journey from an unsafe childhood home to international success as the voice of Savage Garden, before examining the personal struggles that continued behind his public career.
At the centre of the episode is Hayes’ relationship with his mother and the grief he experienced after her death.
As he plays the song he chose for his mother’s funeral, Hayes becomes emotional while recalling the moment he realised he had to let her go.
“I remember trying to hold on to her. Hold her so tight.
Because all of our lives, there was an invisible string connecting us… I realised at her wake that it was me who had to cut the string.
Like a beautiful balloon, I had to let her go.
The freedom in doing that… I think that’s a theme of my entire life.”
Music also takes Hayes back to his childhood and his relationship with an abusive father. He recalls feeling responsible for protecting his mother and believing that becoming successful could provide an escape.
“I thought if I could just be famous, I would be magical.
And somehow I could save her, us, me, everything.”
That ambition eventually led to Savage Garden, which Hayes formed with Daniel Jones. Success, however, was far from immediate.
Hayes remembers the pair receiving 250 rejection letters before their fortunes changed.
“Everyone was laughing at us until they weren’t.”
The group subsequently reached No. 1 on the US and UK charts, giving Hayes the global fame he had imagined years earlier.
But his memories of that period reveal a more complicated experience than the public success suggested.
“At first, incredibly magical.
It felt like it was never going to end.
It was an exhausting roller coaster ride where several times a day I would burst into tears.”
The episode examines the difficulties Hayes faced away from the spotlight, including hiding his sexuality and living with depression.
When Savage Garden ended, Hayes says it took years to grieve what had been lost.
The death of his mother later became another pivotal point in his life, with Hayes reflecting on the peace he eventually found through letting go.
Through the five-song format, Rowe and Hayes revisit his childhood, the rise and end of Savage Garden, his solo career and the personal experiences that accompanied those chapters.
The episode ultimately uses Hayes’ musical selections to tell a story about his search for safety, acceptance and healing, while examining the contrast between international pop success and the struggles occurring behind it.
